What i needed to say

you're making mistakes
(you have been my whole life)
you're digging yourself deeper,
(why aren't you thinking?
hoping?
trying?)

your hand so clammy
so nervous, (you are shaking)
you're pulling the trigger,
but to your disappointment (yet happiness)
you find it unloaded
(granted yet another chance)
to make things right
but what do you do?
you step backwards (slowly at first)
you run yourself further in the wrong directions.

i see you there, all alone (so stuck)
but, for the countless chances
you've been granted-
to tell me, explain to me
(WHY)
-i won't help you, no not again
every time i do, you leave me,
(your daughter)
more broken
every time

you're pulling it
as i watch (how it hurts but i do)
i left it loaded

you see my face in the window,
or are you you just thinking of me?

you never knew each it was
me who was saved you,
(so many times)

i left it loaded.
i'm backing away.